Is it crazy to say that your writing has made me develop a crush on you? You have a positive spirit and a wonderful way with words. I know it's silly for adults to have such a thing, but your work has pulled me in and I look forward to your posts.
Nothing about this is silly. I’m grateful to be a part of the crush chain — I definitely had a crush or eleventy in my day. Past and present. That moment is awesome when you just look up and say: Yep, I like this/them/us/that/thing/over/there.
It’s really bizarre when people that I don’t know or haven’t met feel things as a result of me feeling things and writing about them. It’s a blessing. I love that I’m able to connect, and that you feel like you gain something from anything I do in my life.
Chances are, you have the same effect on someone else. Someone looks forward to your steps, and breaths, and “Hi’s,” and smiles, and the things you try to hide but can’t — sort of how you look forward to my posts.
Someone watches words fall out of your mouth and the clunkiest things you can figure out how to say sound more like string quartets to them, than the car crashes you keep hearing when you echo off the walls. — Kind of how I’m usually convinced that everything I write is trash, and I post it because I want to hold myself accountable for my attempts at creation.
One day when I feel like I’m better at this, I’ll stop writing here, and start writing a book, and I’m grateful as hell that you’re here with me on this growing journey.
That I might come up short for you… The same way you might come up short for whoever looks ‘forward’ to you… That I or you might have been great, but… just not be consistently great enough — that pedestal is scary. And living in fear of disappointing someone or letting them down is enough to drive you nuts.
And then you wake up… And they are still there. Or they’re not there anymore, or not there how they used to be, and you look in the mirror and realize that you still are. And now it’s your turn to thank your God for whatever grace you just slipped and fell into.
I guess I’m just saying that if anything in me, inspires anything in you — I’m going to make you a deal. I’m going to try to keep giving, and you just keep on doing the same. If you read something here and it makes you smile, then turn around and smile at whoever is walking behind you, hoping that you might find reason to do that.
Also, be sure there not a stalker or occupying some other rung of the creep ladder.